The Joy Thieves

Often, joy is stolen by time-consuming distractions. Engaging in television, gaming, social media, or even alcohol can detract from genuine enjoyment and relaxation. But what if we could rediscover playfulness akin to our childhood? Wouldn't that bring more relaxation and happiness?

"The opposite of Play is not work, it’s depression." — Brian Sutton-Smith

The significance of play in adulthood is slowly becoming a topic of conversation in our culture. Yet, many still resist the idea. Play is often perceived as frivolous or undermining our seriousness, making us appear unproductive. Ironically, that’s the point.

The greatest joy thief is the belief that play is exclusive to children. Gamers often face criticism for their engaging hobbies, yet those who advocate for relaxation seem hesitant to embrace this mindset. Why is that? I suspect it stems from an internal fear of appearing unproductive. As we grow older, we develop a resistance to activities that seem silly or that might lead to failure.

As children, we lacked this resistance; it was imposed on us by adults who learned to prioritize goals over joy. However, we can break this cycle and reintroduce fun into our monotonous routines. Interestingly, we might make more strides toward our goals by engaging in “unstructured practice,” allowing ourselves to explore and enjoy the process.

Section 1.1: The Fundamentals of Play

Play is inherently motivated. It exists for its own sake—offering internal rewards rather than external validation. When we engage in play, our focus shifts from the outcome to the activity itself, fostering mindfulness and encouraging exploration of different paths toward our objectives. While play can have goals, the enjoyment derived from the activity takes precedence over any specific outcomes.

Competition can be a component of play, but the joy of the game must remain paramount. Different individuals may experience play differently. For instance, two people playing catch might not both find the same joy if one is more focused on winning than on having fun.

Mindfulness is essential; it helps us reconnect with the joy of engaging in activities purely for enjoyment. When we interact in this way with others, we strengthen our relationships and stimulate new pathways in our brains. Although companies like Lumosity claim to enhance cognitive abilities through brain training, the validity of these claims is still debated.

Engaging in play can be transformative, but it’s essential that we pursue activities that truly resonate with us. Not every pastime will spark joy, and that's perfectly okay. We should focus on the activities that captivate our interest rather than trying to engage in everything.

Section 1.2: Play and Flow States

Play allows us to transcend the constraints of time, a characteristic shared with flow states. Flow, as described by Wikipedia, refers to a mental state where an individual is fully immersed in an activity, experiencing energized focus and enjoyment in the process. Achieving flow requires concentration, yet it should feel effortless.

Structured practice helps us build skills we can later use in play, while unstructured practice allows us to explore our capabilities. We practice to push our limits, while play helps us discover where those limits lie.

In my upcoming article, I will delve deeper into flow, but for now, I want to emphasize that even beginners can start playing with what they’ve learned. Take a skill you’ve developed, whether it’s playing an instrument, drawing, or exercising. Begin with what you know and allow yourself to explore without the pressure of achieving a goal. Embrace the potential for silliness, failure, and spontaneity. This is where the joy lies.