Chapter 1: The Power of Perspective

In life, we often encounter moments that test our ability to remain non-judgmental. My partner sometimes struggles to comprehend why I stay calm when confronted with rudeness or insensitivity. Admittedly, there are days when I find myself affected by thoughtless comments. Yet, more often than not, I manage to remain unresponsive.

What’s the reason behind this mindset?

I possess a guiding principle—an essential truth about existence that life has taught me over the years. A friend once illustrated this concept with a compelling analogy:

Imagine life as an expansive role-playing game. When we meet others on our journeys, we have multiple dialogue choices at our disposal.

Now consider a scenario where another player is unkind. If you have invested in the “empathy” and “understanding” skill trees, your response options will be more constructive. Conversely, those who haven’t had the chance to develop these skills may only react with anger or rudeness.

Our individual backgrounds—culture, upbringing, health, and emotional state—shape our available responses. Unlike in a game, however, we don’t have full control over how we allocate these skills. While willpower plays a role, it’s primarily our experiences that carve out these pathways.

At 34 years of age, I often reflect on my younger self when I feel the urge to judge others. Judging someone today would mean also judging the person I was a decade ago—an individual with less emotional intelligence and many levels yet to conquer. I was often immature, self-centered, and unintentionally hurtful to those around me.

This reflection can be a valuable exercise: when tempted to judge another, consider who you were 10 or 15 years back. Did you ever act rudely? Were you manipulative or insulting? The answer is likely yes. We all make mistakes; it's part of being human, and these missteps are crucial to our personal development.

I’ve made my fair share of errors, but I’ve also gained opportunities to enhance my emotional skills. Experiences such as visiting my mother in a psychiatric facility, grappling with my own mental health issues, and caring for a partner with chronic illness have all contributed to my perspective. As a result, I find it difficult to judge others without also reflecting on my own journey.

When someone expresses anger or frustration, I perceive it as a culmination of their life experiences. They may lack the ability to respond kindly, and I have no right to judge them for it. After all, I cannot fully understand what they have endured or are currently facing.

Take the receptionist who seemed unfriendly; she might be dealing with a painful divorce. Or consider the friend who overlooked my message; they could be struggling with an undisclosed issue. There are countless reasons behind behaviors we might label as rude or hurtful, and we seldom possess the complete picture.

So, when feelings of anger rise within you, remember that many people haven't had the chance to enhance their emotional resilience; they are doing their best with what they have. It may sound cliché, but that doesn’t diminish its truth.

In the end, judging others brings no benefit and only amplifies suffering. Be thankful for the emotional skills you’ve developed. By choosing a compassionate response, you may encourage others to grow as well.

Before You Judge Someone - WATCH THIS | by Jay Shetty

This video explores the importance of empathy and understanding in our interactions with others, urging viewers to reconsider their judgments and approach others with kindness.

Chapter 2: The Impact of Non-Judgment

So, Never Judge a Person by the Chapter You Walked In On

This video emphasizes the significance of recognizing that everyone has a unique story that shapes their behavior, reminding us to be empathetic rather than judgmental.