Expecting the Unexpected

I grew up with the belief that if I followed the rules and worked hard, life would reward me. We’ve all been led to believe that doing everything right guarantees favorable outcomes. But reality often defies that narrative.

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things unravel. You may pour your heart into a relationship that doesn’t flourish, or you might be the most qualified candidate yet still miss out on the job. It’s a harsh truth to accept. But what if we stopped anticipating fairness from life? What if we recognized that imperfection is the norm?

When you anticipate life’s unpredictability, you become less rattled by surprises. This isn’t about lowering your standards but rather about seeing the world for what it is, rather than how you wish it would be. After all, fairness is merely a comforting story we tell ourselves.

In a world full of unexpected twists, perhaps the secret isn’t in seeking fairness but in finding peace amidst the chaos. Can we learn to appreciate the mess?

Letting Go of Control

The moment you believe you are in control is often the moment life proves otherwise. That sealed coffee cup? Empty. The relationship you nurtured? Finished. The promotion you were certain you would get? Awarded to someone else.

We expend so much energy trying to dictate outcomes, forgetting that our only true control lies in our reactions. Life isn’t a recipe where precise adherence guarantees success. Sometimes, you can follow every step and still end up with a flat soufflé—no explanation, no warning.

Take my friend Patricia, for example. A dedicated go-getter, she was always the first to arrive at the office and the last to leave. One day, out of the blue, she was laid off without warning. No severance, just a simple “thanks for your service; we’re downsizing.” She was left bewildered, feeling that the universe didn’t appreciate her hard work.

Patricia lost not just her job but also the belief that control could ensure success. It made me ponder: what if we eased our grip? What if we stopped expecting life to follow our meticulously laid plans? Perhaps the illusion of control is what holds us back.

True freedom might lie in recognizing that we were never truly in control to begin with.

When Life Doesn’t Go Your Way

Sometimes, when life feels most unjust, it’s actually preparing us for something better than we anticipated. How many times have you looked back and realized that what seemed like a disaster turned out to be a blessing?

Perhaps that breakup led you to your soulmate. Maybe missing a job opportunity opened doors to more fulfilling prospects. Or that moment when everything crumbled was precisely what you needed to redirect your path.

Life is full of plot twists that foster our growth. We resist them because they disrupt our carefully constructed plans, but maybe those plans were never as solid as we believed. The irony is that when we stop expecting life to align with our desires, we open ourselves to possibilities we hadn’t considered. Chaos isn’t the enemy; it keeps life vibrant.

When life doesn’t go as planned, ask yourself: Is this the end of my story, or the start of a new chapter? Could this unfairness be nudging me toward something even greater?

Finding Peace in the Chaos

We’ve all heard the phrase “go with the flow,” but doing so can be challenging. The current can be turbulent—filled with unanswered emails, awkward dating app messages, and unexpected crises. But what if the aim isn’t to control the current but to discover peace within it?

The key is accepting that we don’t need to have everything figured out. We don’t require perfect solutions or flawless execution. Peace arises from embracing our humanity and the messiness of life rather than resisting it.

Peace isn’t a destination; it’s found in the midst of chaos. It emerges when we release the need for perfection and allow ourselves to simply be. For me, peace arrived not when I checked every box but when I recognized that I didn’t need to.

It came from understanding that life doesn’t have to be flawless to be beautiful and from finding joy in small moments, like sipping a quiet cup of coffee or sharing laughter with a friend. When I stopped expecting fairness, I began to see the gifts embedded in the chaos.

The most beautiful experiences often unfold when we stop chasing, fixing, and expecting life to mirror a polished image. What if peace is waiting for us right in the heart of the chaos we’re trying to escape?

Reevaluating Success

We’ve been conditioned to equate success with achievement. But what if we’re viewing it all incorrectly? What if true success isn’t about how many tasks we complete but how we react when those tasks spiral out of control?

Success doesn’t mean avoiding setbacks; it’s about how we respond to them. Do you crumble at the first hint of unfairness, playing the victim in your own narrative? Or do you adapt, pivot, and find a new path forward?

When life throws rain on your parade, do you let it ruin your day, or do you laugh it off and keep moving forward? Life isn’t a vending machine where hard work guarantees a reward. Real success lies in how we handle defeat.

Reframing Setbacks

What if that breakup wasn’t a catastrophe but a redirection? What if losing that job wasn’t injustice but a door opening to an opportunity you hadn’t even considered? The narratives we create matter. Setbacks can feel unfair, but they often create space for something greater.

Next time life feels unjust, like missing out on your favorite brunch spot or losing a job you believed you deserved, pause. Ask yourself: What can I learn from this? Is life guiding me somewhere better? What if, instead of fighting for fairness, I embraced life as it is?

When my cup was empty that morning, I initially felt mocked by life. Yet, I chose to laugh instead of fuming. That small decision transformed everything. The empty cup didn’t dictate my day—I did.

Fairness is Overrated—Growth is Key

Life’s unexpected twists are inevitable, but they don’t have to define us or break us. Fairness is an overrated illusion that often holds us back.

The real focus should be on growth—the ability to rise, adapt, and move forward, no matter how many empty cups life presents. Isn’t the most liberating realization that life doesn’t owe us anything? Once we relinquish the fight for control, we might discover that what we have—imperfect, unpredictable, and a bit messy—is precisely what we need.

Isn’t that more than fair?