Tip 1: Accept Your Imperfections

For a long time, I believed that attaining perfect self-esteem required eliminating my flaws and mastering every aspect of my life. While striving for success is commendable, it often overlooks a crucial element: the beauty of imperfection.

Perfection is an unattainable goal, much like a mirage that perpetually eludes our grasp. Instead, we should learn to appreciate our imperfections. As Marcus Aurelius wisely stated in his “Meditations,” we should embrace our circumstances and the people we encounter, doing so wholeheartedly. This sentiment resonates with Brené Brown’s insights in “The Gifts of Imperfection,” where she emphasizes the importance of owning our stories, including our flaws. By accepting our imperfections, we allow our authentic selves to shine through, fostering a sense of freedom and enhancing our self-esteem.

Tip 2: Concentrate on What You Can Control

How often do we find ourselves taking responsibility for every minor setback? From illnesses to relationship troubles, we tend to internalize blame, thinking, “I should have done something differently.”

However, it’s crucial to recognize our limitations. As the philosopher Epictetus pointed out in his “Enchiridion,” we can only control our thoughts and actions. As Ryan Holiday articulates in “The Obstacle Is the Way,” the only certainty is that challenges will arise, and our best response is to focus on our reactions and choices.

By letting go of the need to manage everything around us and instead directing our energy towards what we can influence, we can liberate ourselves from unnecessary self-blame, thus cultivating a healthier self-esteem.

Tip 3: Cultivate Gratitude

Our brains are wired to remember negative experiences more vividly than positive ones, which can hinder our self-esteem. The good news is that we can shift our focus towards gratitude.

Sonja Lyubomirsky, in “The How of Happiness,” asserts that gratitude leads to positive emotions, which in turn foster constructive behaviors and outcomes. Brené Brown reinforces this by noting that those who actively practice gratitude tend to experience more joy in their lives.

Let’s embark on a journey of gratitude, recognizing the abundance that surrounds us, from the warmth of sunlight to the laughter of friends. By appreciating our blessings, we not only uplift our spirits but also lay a solid foundation for robust self-esteem.

How to Build UNSHAKABLE Self Confidence | The Mel Robbins Podcast - YouTube

Tip 4: Avoid Seeking External Validation

While external praise can temporarily boost our confidence, relying on it can be detrimental. When we seek validation from others, we risk losing sight of our true selves.

Marcus Aurelius reminds us that the opinions of others are fleeting and should not dictate our sense of worth. True confidence comes from within, as we align our lives with our values and principles. Brené Brown echoes this thought, emphasizing that genuine belonging arises when we present our authentic selves to the world.

Let’s shift our focus from seeking approval to embracing our true selves, recognizing that our value lies in our authenticity.

5 Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem - YouTube

Tip 5: Live According to Virtue

In cultivating self-esteem, living virtuously serves as an essential guide. By aligning our actions with our highest ideals, we foster a sense of integrity and purpose.

As Epictetus advised, we should articulate who we aspire to be and then take the necessary steps to embody that vision. Aristotle’s concept of eudaimonia stresses that happiness is achieved through virtuous living. Jonathan Haidt also highlights the importance of nurturing relationships, both with ourselves and the world around us.

Let us strive to embody virtues like wisdom, courage, and justice, allowing our self-esteem to blossom from our commitment to living virtuously.