Chapter 1: The Struggle with Desire

It's a strange feeling. I yearn to trust that everything will unfold as it should or that I'm under divine guidance, yet doubts linger.

As I reflect, I'm starting to realize that the intense craving for immediate gratification may be harmful to my mental well-being. Our fixation on desires is, in many ways, detrimental.

The more I fixate on what I want—be it a flawless routine, answered prayers, a home, financial security, or the realization of childhood dreams—the more overwhelmed I become. This relentless pursuit is draining.

We’ve been conditioned to believe in the myth of abundance for so long that we struggle to appreciate the genuine value of contentment and understanding.

We often envision ourselves as the protagonists in a fairy tale, waiting for a mythical figure to fulfill our wishes, while the world around us seems chaotic. We continue to ask for extravagant rewards, hoping that one day, fortune will smile upon us.

In my view, the concepts of prayer and manifestation have morphed into commodities, urging us to chase after "things" and "status" as a way to fill the profound emptiness we experience as human beings.

There exists a delicate balance between hope and obsession.

Hope, to me, is boundless. It is dynamic, like nurturing a garden—sowing seeds and awaiting growth. Hope involves setbacks, but instead of anger, it fosters resilience. It thrives even when circumstances appear bleak. Hope finds joy in outcomes while also accepting that things may not unfold as anticipated. It evolves, allowing us to embrace losses and aspire for new beginnings. Hope reaches for the sky, welcoming whatever comes our way.

On the other hand, obsession feels constricting. It’s static, akin to overwatering a garden. Obsession breeds frustration, leading to destructive behaviors, such as tearing out a failing plant and trying to revive it against all odds. It can transform us but not in a constructive manner. When faced with failure, obsession clings desperately to the hope of revival, often leaving us feeling unfulfilled. With obsession, satisfaction remains elusive; with hope, we find contentment.

I am exhausted from living in a perpetual state of obsession. Waking up at dawn to run, adhering to extreme diets, playing the lottery, creating with the sole aim of recognition—this relentless pursuit leaves me feeling hollow. My hunger for success feels unending, often leading to emotional eating as I grapple with an empty spirit.

Hope allows for release. It fosters the belief that something better awaits. Hope encourages us to let go of dreams that no longer serve us while nurturing the next aspiration, perpetually looking forward.

Chapter 2: Finding Balance

In the quest for fulfillment, it’s essential to discern between hope and obsession, embracing the former while recognizing the pitfalls of the latter.